A Life Changing Decision
by Yami-Red-Uchiha
Summary: A few weeks later, Yuugi came to a decision... WARNING: There is some drug use. (This is Angst,Bi,COMPLETE,Contro,H/C,M/F,M/M,MiCD,NoSex,Oneshot,Other


A short one shot, I know, but I'm sorry. I have another story that I'm working on and I was at the computer and this hit me. Not nearly as hard as my other one, but I was hit nonetheless. So enjoy! This has no plot what so ever, and the computer that I'm using has no spellchecker, so forgive the spelling errors, if any. I'm really OCD about things like that.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, they belong to Takahashi-Sama. I just take and use them for my own purposes to leave mental scarring on others. (But most of you freaks enjoy it, just like I do.) I don't even own Chaos.

**WARNING**: Some hetero relationship (Doesn't last long), suicide, **IMPLIED** yaoi (boy on boy loving), and mentions of drug using and a scene where Pot is used. I don't advocate the using of drugs for anything more than the relief of extreme physical/mental pain/anxiety. If any of this is not your idea of a good story, then hit the back button on the top left of your screen and don't be flaming me for your own stupidity- they will be used to fuel my ferret's ideas. (And yes, you read that right. I own a plot ferret, not a bunny or two.)

...

"But Yuugi-chan! We were going to go to KaibaLand today!" The high-pitched squeaky voice of Anzu rang through Yuugi's thoughts. He had to cancel their date later that day so that he can think about some things. And he can't with Anzu screeching in his ear every twenty seconds. He looked to his best friend for help, which he gave none.

"Anzu, I'm sorry. Some things came up and I have to take care of them. Maybe tomorrow, okay?" On the other side of the line, Anzu sighed. Something was up with her boyfriend and he wasn't telling anyone about it. Ever since they ran into Kaiba Seto a few weeks ago, Yuugi's been a little... Off. She wanted him to come to her about it but he hasn't yet.

"It's fine, Yuugi-chan. We can tomorrow. Is there something bothering you that you want to talk about? Maybe you can bounce your thoughts off me and I might be able to help you with whatever is bothering you." She was desperate to know what was wrong with her boyfriend. She had a feeling that whatever the end results of his thought process is she wouldn't like it, so she was trying to avoid that at all costs.

"No, Anzu. I need to do this on my own. Thank you though." Yuugi replied. "I'll call you later though."

"Okay. I love you."

"...I love you too, Anzu. Bye." And the dial tone went dead in her ears.

... ... ... ... ...

Yuugi hung up the phone and fell backwards on his bed. His best friend and secret crush, Atem, climbed behind him and pulled him up so that Yuugi was leaning against him. Atem was someone you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley; he was coarse, rude, sado/masochistic, but never brash. He always thought things through and had many back-up plans in case one of them fell through on the off occasion. That was just to people who didn't know him. To Yuugi and a few select others, he was kind, thoughtful, and selfless. He was still coarse and masochistic, and even a little unorthodox. Not to mention that Atem has a secret that no one in their group of friends knew about him, save for Yuugi- Atem smokes and it's not cigarettes. It's supposedly a spirit thing in Egypt, helps you get closer to the Gods or something like that. Yuugi doesn't remember. When Atem first came to Domino, Japan no one talked to him until his first day of Junior year where Mouto Yuugi broke the ice. It took weeks for their friendship to build, but once it did it was impenetrable. Every once in a while, Yuugi and Atem would go out into the forests behind Kame Game Shop and smoke bowl after bowl until they couldn't see straight just to relax and forget the past few days for a while.

Yuugi relaxed into Atem's arms, knowing that Atem had a crush on him, and would do anything for the smaller male just to see him happy. Yuugi wondered if Atem had any bud left. He could think better if he had a few hits running through his system before it got to be too much and he just let the THC do its job. After all, Yuugi still had Chaos, a beautiful clear/blue/purple glass bong with a huge water chamber. The bowl piece was big as well. It was called Chaos for a reason. One big rip without being thoughtful of the piece and you'd be coughing up a storm for five minutes. Yuugi needed to think.

"Hey, Temu (Atem's nickname)? Do you have anymore bud? We could bring Chaos." Atem thought for a second.

"No, but I could call my dealer up and see what he's got in stock."

"Okay, I've got about 2,286 yen to spend, depending on what he's got." Atem pulled out his phone and hit a speed dial number and within ten seconds he was talking on the phone.

"Hey, Raven. Do have stock today?" A few seconds pass. "What do you have available?" another few seconds. "Okay, hold on." The phone is pulled away slightly from his mouth. "What sounds good? White Rhino, Thunder Bloody Mary, Purple Kush, or Jack the Ripper?" Yugo thought for a few seconds.

"How about we do Thunder Bloody Mary?" Atem smiled a little. That was his personal favorite.

"How much for a ten sack of Bloody Mary?" Another few seconds' pause. "1,524? Okay. Meet up at the usual place? See you in five minutes then." Atem hung up before scooping up his chibi look alike off the bed and started walking down the stairs.

"Hey, Temu! I have two perfectly working feet! I can walk you know!" Yuugi squirmed in Atem's arms. Atem chuckled.

"I know you do. I just felt like doing this, is that okay?" Yuugi stopped squirming then. This WAS the first time that his Temu did this in weeks, so he'll let the older copy do what he wants. Wait, did he say HIS Temu?!

"Fine, but once we stop to trade, you're putting me down, right?"

"Of course." 'I just wish that Anzu would break up with Yuugi already so that I can pick up the pieces and put him back together. I know it sounds wrong, but Ra I love him so much.'

... … … …

In about four minutes they reach an abandoned playground. Atem allows Yuugi to stand on his own feet before they walk to sit on the swings to wait the extra minute before 'Raven' comes to make the deal.

"Yuugi?" A nod from his chibi copycat told him was listening. "What made you want to smoke today?" It took a few minutes for Yuugi to respond.

"Anzu." Yuugi sighed. "We had a date planned today to go to KaibaLand, but I canceled on her because I'm having complications within myself and I needed space away from her to think. She makes it difficult."

"Isn't that a good thing? If she makes it difficult for you to think than doesn't that mean that you love her more than you do yourself?" Even after being in Japan for about five years, Atem didn't really get the Japanese body language, which is surprisingly slightly different than that of the Egyptians. Yuugi laughed sadly.

"Normally, yes. But right now I'm just so conflicted about myself right now. I need a way to think without her around. And you and weed helps out a lot more than I thought originally. Besides, I'm buying." Atem smiled a little, but not saying anything since he saw his dealer. Raven was in a black silk shirt, pressed dark denims, and black steel-toe boots- the only thing that told everyone that he isn't all that he seems. You might take him from a simple dealer at first look from the outside, but the boots tell another story.

Atem got off the swings and met half way with the dealer. Yuugi had already handed Atem the money when he went to see how much he had so things didn't really seem that suspicious. Not a snowball's chance in hell that Raven wouldn't notice the short mirror image of one of his customers. In hushed tones the dealer asked,

"Who's the copy of you, Tem?" Another nickname for the Egyptian.

"My best friend. He's cool with everything. If he wasn't he wouldn't be here." He answered. He knew that Raven wanted to know Yuugi's name, but isn't willing to give it. He felt like he already said too much. They did the trade, the bud looking white, in a Band-Aid tin can.

"So long as he doesn't do anything to jeopardize my business he's fine. I'll be seeing you around, Tem." And Raven walked away. Atem turned around and walked back to Yuugi before going back to the game shop to pick up the lovely bong before going into the deep forest behind said shop to smoke.

… … … …

Twenty minutes later and Yuugi and Atem were high enough to where all their mental barriers were broken down for a while, allowing Yuugi and Atem to think and bounce their problems back and forth between each other. Atem's worry was about finding a job and relax as much as he could before the next thing to worry about came around. Yuugi had told him that working for his grandfather, Solomon Mouto, would be a good idea- the pay wasn't much since it was nine dollars an hour which was minimum wage, but it was something. And he doesn't do a UA test so long as you're good to work your shifts without too much complaining. After that was cleared, Yuugi started to talk about feeling like he was drifting from Anzu and that he wanted out of the relationship but he didn't want to hurt her in the process and that he liked someone else. Atem tried to get the name of the person Yuugi likes to see if they would be good enough for his Yuugi, but to no avail. Briefly he thought that Yuugi was talking about him, but pushed that aside since he had no evidence that his smaller look-alike even swung that way, let alone like him. So he told Yuugi that he should evaluate his emotions closely and if his feelings for this other person was stronger than the ones he had for his girlfriend then he should break it to her slowly and that he shouldn't mention him liking someone else yet; but if his feelings for Anzu were stronger then he should put some distance between him and the person who held his interest, but that either way he was there to help him through it all- after all, that's what best friends are for, right?

Feeling a thousand pounds lighter, Yuugi smiled a little sloppy before lighting up again, both young men smoking until they couldn't inhale anything heavier than air.

... ... ... ...

A few weeks later, Yuugi came to a decision. It hurt him at the thought of separating himself from the sexy Egyptian more than the thought of leaving his one year relationship with his girlfriend. He hoped Anzu would understand that it had nothing to do with her, it's just that he wasn't feeling the same about her anymore. On his way to school, he had decided to talk to her during their lunch break since she had no classes after that, he didn't want to disrupt her schooling after all. It was just hard to keep this to himself and Atem (he told his friend once he made the decision) and it showed in his lack of attention in his first two classes. Before anyone knew it, it was time for lunch.

Yuugi's stomach was a cave of turmoil. He kept having many different scenarios running around in his head, and most of them not having a very good outcome. He walked out of his class, shouldering his bag before going to the table where he knew everyone would end up at. And he didn't have to wait long; three seconds later Atem shows up followed by Marik, Malik, Otogi, Seto, Bakura, and Jou; seven of Yuugi's original friends. Three minutes after Jou, Honda, Ishizu, Ryou, Rebecca, Rashid, Mokuba, and Mai showed up followed fifteen seconds by Anzu. Their groups were intertwined and so used to hanging out with each other that things might be awkward when they break up. It took Yuugi two minutes to gather his wits and another three before he could open his mouth to ask Anzu if they could talk privately. He saw fear flash in her eyes before determination took place. She nodded her head and followed Yuugi outside to the tree where Anzu asked the shorter teen out.

"Anzu, I need to tell you something and before you jump to conclusions, know that I will always be there for you and I will still help you with your dream of becoming a dancer." Here Yuugi paused to draw in his next breath. "Anzu, can we still be friends?" It wasn't the best break-up line he heard or read, but it was what he wanted to say without sounding too harsh. Anzu sucked in a breath, hand slightly falling off its perch on her purse strap before nodding.

"Yuugi, is there another woman? Please tell me there isn't." Yuugi shook his head. 'No, not a woman... Another man, actually...'

"No, not a woman, Anzu. I promise." At least it was the truth.

"Okay." Then the tallest of the pair took a breath before speaking again, with a shaky quality to it, signaling that she was going to cry on her way home. "Yuugi, we can still be friends, but give me a while to get over this, okay?" Yuugi nodded before asking if he can give her a hug. Little did he know that he was the last person to hug her...

Yuugi walked back to the cafeteria feeling like something's about to go wrong, but he couldn't place the reason why. He just passed it off as the after-effects of a break-up since this was his first real relationship.

"How'd it go, Yuugi?" Atem asked quietly after he took his seat. He knew first hand how hard break-ups are.

"It went fine, all things considering. She wants some time before we can work on our friendship and I gave it to her. She's walking home right now." The bell rang for next class. Everyone who didn't know about the break-up was shocked. They decided to ask their respective first friend of the pair for the information later. Half of the group decided to just skip the rest of school while others, like Seto, Mokuba, Rashid, Mai, Ishizu, Jou, and Otogi, stayed in school. The others just wanted to get out and relax- school was too taxing on the already stressed out minds. Those who skipped went to Yuugi's house to kick back and relax.

The news of Masaki Anzu's suicide hit the school the next day, the day after it hit the news station.

For a month, there was a support group for those who knew Anzu personally and for those who knew of her and what she's done for the school and the community. Yuugi nearly lost himself in pot, smoking every chance he got, working for the money to support his habit, and six months later Atem approaches him about the way he was dealing with her death.

"Yuugi, this is not the way to deal with Anzu's death. Every day I see you, you're stoned. I don't see the old Yuugi anymore. I know how much it hurts and how much it tears you up inside to know that you were the cause of a suicide. I KNOW, Yuugi. I lost my best friend, Ankh Mahado because I broke up with him because I was going to move in a month and I didn't want to keep him in a long distance relationship! Trust me, this is not the way to go. Soon the weed isn't going to be enough and the next thing you know, you're shooting up every six hours! You need to snap out of this now before you lose yourself completely! Please, I am begging you to stop this self destructing path you're on! I will get on my knees if I must!" Yuugi looked up at Atem. He was on his bed, letting the ceiling entertain him until his once best friend spoke. He knew that what he was doing was irresponsible and stupid, but he was in a never ending spiral of self hatred, depression, loss, and agony. He knew that he killed his ex, even though he never held the weapon, he might as well have. He knew he was the reason why Anzu wasn't walking the halls anymore, the reason why she wasn't laughing with their group anymore. He knew and there wasn't anything he could do to change the past. He listened to Atem as he spoke, listening to him when he said that he knew what he was going through, when he said that if he continues he'd end up far worse than he was now, and that would bring about a whole slew of new negative thoughts and emotions.

"Then what did you do to get rid of your depression and everything? You seem fine to me now." Yuugi said.

"You think that the only reason why I smoke is to relax and find a job? I also smoke to forget my past relationship. I seem fine now, because I have dealt with my grief; but I will not always be fine. I'm always going to remember the reason my ex-boyfriend and my best friend committed suicide because of me. I'm never going to forget the last words I said to him, never going to forget his face. I'm never going to know what the future would have held if he was still alive and I didn't have to move. All I know is that I have only today and the future to look forward to and not worry about the past because what's done is done. You can't go back in time to change it. You have to learn to accept it, make your peace with it, learn from it, and move on. I have. I had to. I'm not always like this, Yuugi." Yuugi, still laying down and facing the ceiling, turned towards Atem and flung his arms out. His eyes, slightly glazed, were a bit watery at the corners. Atem knew the silent plea to be held, so Atem walked over to his small look-alike and embraced him, allowing Yuugi to cry out his heart and soul into the wee hours of the morning where they both passed out, Yuugi from emotional exhaustion and Atem from fatigue and mental anxiety. He hoped that what was said had finally gotten through to Yuugi, and judging by how he reacted, Atem could say that he did.

... … … …

It was another six months before Yuugi even attempted another relationship, and another nine months to allow himself to go to the next level with his boyfriend, Atem. Yuugi, Atem, and their friends were three months away from graduating high school. Life for Mutou Yuugi had gotten better, but it will never be the same.

... ... ...

I wrote this a few years ago as a way to deal with the death of a very close family member of mine. He commited suicide, like Mahodo, and like both Yuugi and Atem, I turned to smoking pot to help me deal with my grief in the only way I knew how. However, unilke Yuugi, I didn't have a friend tell me to snap out of it. I never did anything else, but my boyfriend at the time didn't let me, which I am forever thankful for. Now I don't touch the stuff except for my arthritis and I'm done grieving for my family member. I will always have my memories, but I will not tarnish them any longer.

If you or a loved one is thinking about suicide as an option out of a bad situation, it isn't. It's a permanent solution to a temporary peoblem. If you feel like it's the only way to go, talk to someone, please. Taking your life is not worth it in the end. If you can't talk to someone you know, then there is a hotline that is available. 1-800-273-8255 is for those within the United States, Hawaii, and Alaska. This website posted is for those in Britain-  . 

And this website is for those in BC-  .ca/contact-us/

If you do not live in Britain, the US, or British Columbia, do not hesitate to look up the number for your area.

You are not alone.


End file.
